.

Days like this… I miss being in the city.

All you’d have to do was tell me that this was happening, and I would have hit up the subway to visit Union Square.

MSN - Disaster on a Stick

Well, since my brother Craig was accepted to Johnson State College in Vermont, the family decided that it was necessary to make a pilgrimidge to this institution of higher learning, to let him see what he’s in for if he ultimately decides to take them up on their offer of enrollment. Let me tell you something, I was absolutely overjoyed about waking up before 5AM to hit the road (can you detect the sarcasm?), but I remember Craig being dragged to all the colleges that I visited (which, in retrospect, wasn’t nearly enough) — so I figured I’d return the favor.

And so, at the asscrack of dawn, my parents, my brother, his girlfriend Jessica, and myself entered the minivan and headed out on our journey. Thankfully, I was asleep for most of the voyage there. Otherwise, I’m sure I would have bitched and moaned the entire way there (which I made sure I did extra of on the way back, to make up for lost time).

One of the first things I learned about Vermont is — there seems to be absolutely nothing to do in Vermont. Sure, there was a McDonald’s in close proximity to a Dunkin’ Donuts (which, strangely, reminds me of Northvale), but other than that — nothing. Sure enough, I discovered something to do while eating a Quarter Pounder in said McDonald’s — rent movies from the video store, get high, and go cow tipping!

Of course, I guess that statement makes more sense when you have the information that the only store of interest we’d seen up to this point was a head shop, almost directly across from the college campus.

Anyway, after spending some quality time in the McDonald’s (which, in case you’re wondering, is one of the McD’s locations where they utilize the condiment powers of both ketchup and mustard), we headed over to the school, to see if we could bump Craig’s tour up an hour. Luckily, the people in Vermont apparently have nothing to do either, as everyone he had to meet with was able to shift their schedule around without problem.

The school itself was a very nice campus. Everything was beautiful, the facilities looked great, and (from what I could tell) the people were pretty chill. After all, I’m pretty sure Krystal Blackman went here before she came over to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts, so the people must be cool. I thought of Krystal while looking at the theater (which had a beautiful auditorium), thinking that she once performed up there (and so I really hope I’m remembering correctly, and that she did, indeed, go to this school — and not some other school in Vermont, which is possible).

The only downside I could detect from the whole tour was the lack of cell phone reception. There was almost none, on campus. According to the guide, they’re looking in to fixing that, though.

Anyhow, after the walking tour was finished, my brother and parents went off to talk to important people in the school’s admissions office, while Jessica and I sat in a waiting room. Several Time magazines later (hell, I wasn’t reading National Geographic if you paid me), the parents returned — and it was time to head to the Ben & Jerry’s Factory!

I don’t know if there’s much else about today that made me quite as happy as visiting the Ben & Jerry’s Factory. It was a great opportunity to completely geek out about one of life’s simpler pleasures. After watching a seven-minute film about the founders of the company (which proved that, yes, it was — at one point — possible to succeed in corporate America, even if you’re a complete failure), we got down to the good stuff… watching the ice cream on the assembly line. I was quite impressed at how small an operation it seemed to be (apparently they only produce two flavors of ice cream per day — today’s were Caramel Sutra & Mint Chocolate Chip), and how efficiently it was run. Amazing. By far, though, the best part had to be the free ice cream samples at the end of the guided tour.

On the way through the “Wall of Fame,” I scoured the walls for any pictures of Stephanie Smith’s dad… but none were to be found (that I know of, at least — none really had captions with names on them). Either way, thinking of both Steffie and Krystal in one day made me wish I were back inside 120 Madison Ave.

When in Rome… do as the Romans do.

When in Vermont… visit the Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream Graveyard. Or so I’d heard.

Anyhow, I figured it’d be fun, so I grabbed my mom’s camera and headed in. I can honestly say that I understand why some of these ice cream flavors were restrained to this little fenced-off area of land — they weren’t very good. Underneath, you’ll see just one budding example of the high-caliber ice cream flavors Ben & Jerry’s has retired over the years.

((Of course, I’m omitting the great ideas like “Economic Crunch,” and “Peanut Butter & Jelly” — sure-fire winners if I’ve ever heard of them.))

*Side note — apparently, Ben & Jerry’s employees take home three pints of ice cream for every day they work. If I’m ever in Vermont, I know where I’m workin’…*

And, of course, what would a road trip back to New York be without a trip to… the fucking Cracker Barrel? Well, I’ll just say my piece about the Cracker Barrel here — it’s not my favorite dining establishment in the world. Sure, the food’s not all that bad… but just being inside made me fear that I’d become attracted to my cousins. I’m glad that places like the Cracker Barrel exist up here in the North — to remind us why we don’t go down to the South.

All in all, an excellent day. Made me miss talking to Krystal after class, or having a conversation with Stephanie (and hearing her English accent [which, I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned, but, I want one!]). Really, though, what it made me want was — THE FUCKING LETTER!

I mean, c’mon… USPS… get off your ass, here!