.

I think Starbucks gets a bad rap. That’s not because I worked there for well over a year and was subjected to a great deal of torture and brainwashing, but because I think people have many misconceptions about America’s favorite drug dealer. People bash Starbucks for being an evil corporation hell-bent on world domination — unpleased with their 11,000+ worldwide locations and looking to triple that number.

In the words of Howard Schultz (via Starbucks Gossip):

PELLEY: And when people say you’re an evil empire bent on world domination, you say —

SCHULTZ: I hate that. I hate that, but I realize you’re always going to have critics.

There you are, folks! If the C.E.O. tells you that they’re not an evil empire, they’re not an evil empire! (Wait a minute, he never actually said that they aren’t in his response, did he? Anyhow…)

I, personally, have discovered that Starbucks is a valuable asset to our community. It has nothing to do with the amount of money that they spend in compensating the coffee farmers who supply them with their beans, the amount of money that they spend over-compensating the poor souls who have to supply the general public with their caffeine fix, or the seemingly miniscule contribution from the $2 of water that will ultimately provide the underprivileged with clean water.

It’s napkins.

My allergies are fucking killing me nowadays… and, let’s face it, constantly buying tissues can get expensive.

Thank you, Starbucks, for your overabundance of available napkins close to main entrances / exits in your stores. I salute you.

Also, thank God for Starbucks’ bathrooms. Otherwise, I might have to go to McDonald’s.