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So, the other night, as I was drifting off to sleep, I realized that my feet were exceptionally dry… almost to the point of painful. I’m not one to sleep with socks on… so, looking for something to allay my need for this pain relief… I, naturally, turned to the stuff my girlfriend leaves around my apartment.

Now, perhaps logic would dictate that I use any of the skin creams now currently stationed around my room or on the bathroom shelves, but I went for something a little more… exotic. The Trim Neat Feet Callus/Corn Remover was my weapon of choice. I mean, if the bottom layer of skin was bothering me… why not just shave the damn thing off? Right?

Well, all was going well according to plan, until my hand slipped and I took off a small chunk of skin near the base of my left heel. I managed to stop the blood flow and go to sleep almost right away, but still felt like a dumbass.

Why am I telling you this? Well… because it hurts, damnit, and I thought you should know. Also, I think we should start a campaign against cruel beauty products hand-crafted by Satan himself, like the so-called “callus/corn remover” (devil stick).

Who’s with me?