.

- Why do hotels close their fitness centers at night? It’s not like keeping the doors unlocked adds extra stressed on an overworked staff.

- Eating healthier is not only easier than I thought it would be, it makes me feel energized.

- Panera Bread is quickly becoming my favorite restaurant chain. Joy is a Cinnamon Crunch Bagel with Hazelnut Cream Cheese, which contradicts my last statement, in a way.

- Matthew Broderick is a terrible actor. Just thought I haven’t said that in a while.

- Did you know that Binghamton, NY shuts down on Sundays? Neither did we.

- I am loving the new season of Lost. While I certainly miss some of the characters that have already passed (which I won’t mention here to avoid any potential spoilers) I really love the pace of the new season and knowing the eventual fates of the castaways. In a way, it’s more fun having both flashbacks and flash-forwards, as it adds more pieces to the puzzle. I can’t wait for it to return next week.

- Black box theatre can be just as bad in other parts of the country as it is in New York City.

- Is anyone else enjoying this season of SNL? I really like it post-strike, and I hope to get the opportunity to audition for them one day. Andy Samberg is my hero.

- Why do people take pictures of theatrical shows with their flash on? The only thing it does is draw attention to you and endanger the actors. When there are already hundreds of lights pointed on the stage, your flash bulb isn’t doing anything. Just leave the cameras at home and buy a souvenir program.

- Come see Superstar! We’re still having a great time on the road, and we’re doing so well the tour’s allegedly booked through 2009.

I’m American. Thoroughly American. This is a fact that I’ve never really thought about in the duration of my 22-year life… but that’s probably because everyone else I came into contact with was inherently American as well. Now that I’ve been forced out of my suburban bubble and thrust into a large city, I still encounter other Americans… but not in the same percentages. The more I meet people who aren’t American, the more I realize how American I am, and the more I realize how many other nations despise me just for being so.

But why all this babbling about being American in a theater review?

Because Coram Boy is not.

To be perfectly honest, I sometimes judge shows that I know nothing about by their t itles. To this end, Coram Boy sucks. As an American, I know what a “boy” is… but what the fuck is a “Coram”? Is it a name? Some fancy adjective that I should have learned in school? I don’t know… and what I don’t know, I fear.

On top of that, I find out that the show is English — transferring to Broadway from the National Theater. Although most English theater is good… somewhere in the back of my American mind, I have images of lavishly dressed middle-aged people sitting around in a drawing room sipping tea. This advances my dislike of Coram Boy, before I ever really even know anything about it.

But I had the opportunity to go free… so, why not?

Just upon entering the Imperial Theater and seeing the set, I realized that my pre-concieved tea-drinking notions were utterly incorrect. Even the set was breathtaking, monumental, somewhat strange (all things I associate with America). By the time the show had started, I forgot all about hating-the-show-on-principle, and focused on paying attention.

See, I had to pay attention. The play was confusing at first (possibly because I’m American), what with twentysomething women playing pre-teen boys and all… but that confusion settled after all of five minutes. The first act of the play flew by — intense, gripping, fantastic — with a phenomenal story and equally stunning special effects. By the time the curtain fell for intermission, I wondered “What the hell is left to tell?”

For my money (which, granted, was nothing — but I would have gladly paid for it), the first act was enough story to tell to send me home happy. Instead, with the promise of another chapter in the tale, I grew excited for the second act to begin! The rest of Coram Boy did not disappoint… equally as fascinating while cleverly introducing new characters and plot points.

That’s not even to mention the impressive 40-person cast (including a 20-member on-stage choir).

Fantastic show, superbly acted by British-American Xanthe Elbrick and company… wonderfully directed by British-Superwoman Melly Still. I would go see this show again any day of the week.

It is trully a shame that most other Americans passing through the Theater District probably did what I did — saw the title, got confused, and turned off. Equally depressing is that many probably passed up this show, which was trully inspiring theater, in favor of tripe like Legally Blonde: The Musical.

Fare the well, Coram Boy. Broadway has killed you, and buried you in the woods. Hopefully, the Tonys won’t be so cruel.

I can’t believe 2006 is almost over! It’s been one hell of a year for me, and I know that I’ve missed a lot of it here on my blog. To catch everyone up, I’m going to try and recap some of the things to have happened to me this year (including the recent developments that have been completely OTB).

Let’s start with something of minor significance (if any at all), shall we?

Entertainment

Television

Arrested Development - While this year brought the end of Arrested Development on FOX, it also marked my first exposure to the ensemble comedy. Although I’d been avoiding the show over the past three years, I found myself an instant die-hard fan. After watching the first few episodes, I diligently tracked down the entire series, watching every episode of the series inside of two months. Nowadays, it’s hard to imagine life before the Bluths. As a result, I’m overjoyed that MSN is syndicating AD without charge over the internet. If you haven’t seen the show, stay tuned to arresteddevelopment.msn.com over the next year to watch one of the finest shows ever produced for free TV.

Scrubs - I had seen a few episodes of Scrubs throughout 2005, but had never really realized how entertaining the show was. Throughout a four month period, I tracked down every episode of Scrubs and watched them, each in broadcast order. Much like Arrested Development, Scrubs gets funnier when you watch it in order and see which jokes repeat. The first four seasons are available on DVD, and Season Six continues on NBC.

Lost - I had intentionally avoided Lost for the past two years. It was too big, too popular, and sounded a bit too much like Gilligan’s Island for me to devote my time to. This year, fortunately, curiosity killed the cat (or polar bear, I guess), and I downloaded the pilot episodes onto my computer. Before I knew it, I would become addicted, racing home every day to watch each episode of both seasons. I was losing sleep, I was running late to school — and I didn’t care. I fell in love with each of the show’s characters (well, except for Ana-Lucia… bitch got what she deserved), and continued to “get Lost” throughout the summer with the Lost Experience online game. I’m completely on the edge of my seat after the latest episode of the 3rd Series, and can’t wait for 2007 to continue the cliffhanger we were left with.

NBC’s Saturday Night - Just at the end of 2006, Broadway Video, in association with NBC Universal, finally released the first season of Saturday Night Live to DVD. I’d been dying to see these episodes for years… and I’ve finally witnessed the comic genius of Belushi, Akryod, Chase, Radner, Brooks, Henson, and a slew of special guests. Highly recommended.

Theatre

“The Drowsy Chaperone” - certainly one of the greatest Broadway shows I’ve ever seen, “The Drowsy Chaperone” will please any audience of any age. Furthermore, “Drowsy” marks the reclaiming of live musical theatre to new artists — as it’s one of the more prominent shows of the season, and it was created from scratch (not using pre-existing songs or movie storylines… which isn’t always a winning formula anymore — look at “All Shook Up”, “The Times They Are A-Changin’”, and “High Fidelity” for proof). Anyway, go see “Drowsy Chaperone!” It’s quick, entertaining, and you will most certainly leave the theatre with a song in your head.

“Disney’s Beauty & The Beast” - I had avoided seeing any Disney Theatrical productions until free tickets lured me to Beauty. Despite Donny Osmond, the show still managed to entertain. The show currently features “Avenue Q”’s John Tartaglia, among others. It’s worth it, if you can find a good discount.

“Lestat” - Elton John must have phoned this one in. One of the worst shows I’ve seen this year, “Lestat” managed to be both over and under written — generally confused and miscast. Way to go, Broadway!

“Burleigh Grime$” - If “Lestat” was pure shit, this shit was somewhat diluted. I would even call it an intriguing effort if I knew what the point was supposed to be. The dude from Mad Money was in it, though… and I guess that was supposed to distract, if not entertain.

Check back soon for the next installment of my self-indulgent 2006 wrap-up!

Suffering from a bit of insomnia, thought I’d hit the blog.

Check out A Year At The Academy for the latest rehearsal update.

“Chekhov in Yalta” was last week. Went pretty damn well. I’m glad I got to work with such a great director and talented cast. Usually, when actors say that, they’re bullshitting through their teeth (or, in electronic form — such as this — fingers), but I’m being completely serious. I loved working on the show, and I felt we only trully got into the swing of things by Friday (not meaning to belittle the other three shows, which were also great, I just thought our timing was *perfect* on Friday) and it’s a shame we couldn’t have kept going.

And charging admission.

Okay, I’m kidding about the admission thing.

I had an incredible revelation about cereal. Okay, less of a revelation — more of an observation. Same thing, they end in -ation. Head to my Myspace blog for more on that.

I want to see “Borat” pretty bad.

Casey Affleck can’t act. I guess it runs in the family. Although, I’ll give Ben his due props for “Hollywoodland.”

The date for “Lost” draws nearer. I’m excited about the impending DJ Dan podcast. (If you know what that last line meant, you’re as much of a dork as I am… and I love you for it.)

Until next time… ask yourself — What Would Gob Do?

So, thanks to Playbill.com, I just heard two songs from the upcoming Broadway musical High Fidelity.

I’m starting to lose faith in my chosen profession.

High Fidelity is one of my favorite movies… but it’s no shock to me that they’ve already lined up the show that will replace it in its theatre.

Sad.

So, apparently I only have time to post during rehearsal.

That’s odd.

Anyway, I’ve had an extremely packed schedule as of late, working my ass off both in school and at Max Brenner. I’m starting to think that the Max Brenner thing may not be the best deal, as it’s going to be hard to make rent on a monthly basis with my wages being what they are. At the moment, I’m working about 40 hours per week (which is far much more than I can handle) and still struggling.

School’s going particularly well. It’s an emotional rollercoaster wherein on any given day I’ll feel like the worst actor in the world and become confident in my abilities the next. Regardless of the internal struggle, the play I’m in (”Chekhov in Yalta”) performs Sept. 12-15.

I finished watching all of “Arrested Development.” It’s such a shame that that show was cancelled. It’s on my top-ten list of greatest sitcoms ever. I’m currenly waist deep in the second season of “Lost.” Also amazing. I can’t wait to catch up — and then I can’t wait for the premiere in October. While on the subject of TV… I love Sundays, for they bring me “Entourage.”

Well, I should probably dash back to rehearsal and see if I’m needed yet. I’ve got an interview this afternoon for a server position at a location-to-be-named-if-I-get-the-job (let’s just say that I’m not distancing myself from chocolate or coffee as of yet).

I’m homesick. It’s killing me that I can’t see everyone before they head back to college.

See you all back on here soon!

It’s been twenty years since Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Matthew Broderick peaked at the ripe age of twenty four. Please, for the love of God, let’s stop applauding him when he comes on stage. In fact, let’s not applaud him while he’s on stage. Furthermore, let’s not applaud for him when he exits the stage. Finally, let’s not applaud for him during his curtain call.

He sucks.

He sucks an awful lot.

I was a member of the audience last night at the Brooks Atkinson Theatre for one of the final performances of Broadway’s recent incarnation of “The Odd Couple.” As I’ve documented in this blog before, Neil Simon is one of my favorite playwrights of all time, and “Odd Couple” was my first exposure to him. In addition to the movie, I had also been exposed to Oscar and Felix through the television series with Tony Randall (which, unfortunately, had *nothing* to do with Neil Simon). I was also excited to the see the show because I was able to procure standing room tickets for $25… 1/4 of the usual Broadway price for Orchestra seats.

It was hard not to be impressed by the amount of star power up on stage at the Brooks Atkinson. Nathan Lane, Rob Bartlett, Mike Starr, and even Broderick himself have had considerable good fortune finding work in the acting profession over the past few years. Maybe that’s why I was expecting some sort of masterclass up on stage during the show. Unfortunately, this was not the case. All the performers (except for one) have teriffic comic timing, adequate training (read: they’re not Amanda Peet), and wonderful presence… but I don’t think the direction was ‘all there.’ This in itself was confusing, as Joe Montello (”Wicked,” “Take Me Out,” “Glengarry,” etc., etc.) directed, and I guess I expected better.

As a whole, this version of “Odd Couple” works. I’m certain that it’s not the best that’s ever been produced, but it is what it is — funny. There’s no way you’d leave the theatre disappointed — especially if Broderick’s understudy is in.

Unfortunately, Matthew Broderick makes me so fucking angry that I don’t even want to waste space talking about it. How the fuck does he continue to get work? One can only ride their parents’ coattails for so long — and usually, one doesn’t boast that in their Playbill bio. I sincerely thank the casting director who originally paired these two together, as Lane’s over-abundance of talent makes up for Broderick’s lack thereof.

With Broadway’s recent revival of one of Neil Simon’s earliest, “Barefoot in the Park,” having closed just a few weeks ago, I figured it was probably time to review the piece. I was elated when I learned that “Barefoot” was returning to Broadway, as it’s one of my favorite plays. I was a bit less enthusiastic about the star attached to the project, Amanda Peet, but I figured that there was still a chance things would be salvaged. After all, Amanda Peet is a professional, paid actress — perhaps I was just severely underestimating her. Then again, I gave Rosario Dawson the benefit of the doubt before last year’s “Two Gentlemen of Verona,” and that was a mistake. Acting talent (or lack thereof) aside, I figured that the show was still bound to be amazing. After all, “Barefoot” is one of America’s most produced plays — and with good reason, too. The show is hilarious.

So, when offered free tickets to go see the show from the “ticket lady,” who comes to visit my school on a regular basis, I jumped at the chance.

Sitting in the Cort Theatre, I started to get a bit excited. I had recently become a fan of Patrick Wilson’s work in “The Full Monty,” thanks to the song “Big-Ass Rock,” and was also eager to see Tony Robers’ work in person. I was a bit skeptical about the floral designs on the curtain, which were meant to be reminiscent of the 60’s, but I figured it just tied in with the graphic design for the show, and shrugged it off. When the 60’s pop music began as the curtain rose, I got a little bit worried.

My last acting teacher, Jackie Bartone, taught us that you need to engage your audience in the opening moment of a scene, or you’ll lose them. With this in mind, I was completely baffled when Amanda Peet sat on stage for about five minutes, with no dialogue, doing practically nothing. It was during this extended silence that I realized how valuable Jackie’s lesson was. In acting school, it’s often said that you learn more from bad theatre than you do from good. If that’s the case, the rest of “Barefoot in the Park” was an encyclopedia’s worth of knowledge.

Unfortunately, I was right about Amanda Peet. Sucked… big time. Not only is she a terrible actress, she has no training in voice and speech, and had to practically shout every one of her lines in order to be heard on the Broadway stage. Due to the shouting, every one of her lines was delivered with the exact same inflection — making her dull and monotonous. That’s actually one of the qualities I’d look for if I were casting a show — monotonous. Wonderful.

Ms. Peet wasn’t the only to disappoint, however… Jill Clayburgh and Tony Roberts did their fair share, as well. The interactions between their characters have potential to be side-splittingly hilarious, but this was not to be in the new incarnation of “Barefoot”. Tony Roberts was especially disappointing, bringing almost nothing original (or, particularly important in a comedy — funny) to the role.

There was one redeeming quality to this “Barefoot in the Park,” however, and his name is Patrick Wilson. Just when this production made you feel compelled to run through the exit and throw yourself out in traffic to spare yourself from the terrible acting and direction, Patrick Wilson hit the stage and, in Superman-like fashion, saved the day… actually brining humor to this otherwise dry abomination disguised as professional theatre. Thank God for whoever cast him in this produciton… as he managed to make the other actors on stage look good (and that includes Amanda Peet*).

*- it should be noted that, while he managed to make Amanda Peet look better, nobody’s a miracle worker

Whenever I think back to high school, the first thing I think of will (unfortunately) not be the times I spent during regularly scheduled lunchtimes, immersed in friends. Nor will it be times spent playing Freshman Baseball (although that’s probably for the better), creating craft buttons for the art club, or even confusing a great number of non-English speaking parents onstage performing “99 Red Balloons” for the International Show. In fact, the very first memory I have of high school is in the auditoriuim, standing on a platform eight feet above the stage singing “Mansion” in my senior year production of ‘Two Gentlemen of Verona.’

Although that was over three years ago, it still strikes my memory because that was one of the many moments that solidified my decision to become a professional actor. Now that I’ve moved on in the profession of acting, I still think back to my days of performing in high school shows with fondness.

As a result, I try and make it a point to go and see the plays and musicals that Tappan Zee High School puts on every year. With each year that goes by, I see the students that I’ve shared the stage with graduate. Just this past year, the last remaining group of actors from my senior year’s shows (”Midsummer Night’s Dream” and the aforementioned “Two Gentlemen”) had their final show, “On Your Toes.”

I would devote this space to writing about how phenomenal the show was — how I was extremely proud of the actors involved, in awe of the spectacular dance numbers, etc. — but I’ve decided to let the 2006 Helen Hayes award nominations speak for themselves:

Outstanding Overall Production of a Musical: On Your Toes
Outstanding Achievement by a Director: Edward Clinton
Outstanding Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role: Alexandra Gable (Vera Baronova)
Outstanding Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role: Shannon Goldrick (Peggy)
Outstanding Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role: Raffi Chamessian (Konstantine)
Outstanding Comic Performance: Mike Fails (Junior)
Outstanding Production Number: Slaughter on Tenth Avenue
Outstanding Performance by a Chorus
Outstanding Performance by an Orchestra
Outstanding Achievement in Choreography: Edward Clinton
Outstanding Achievement in Costume Design: Edward Clinton

Congratulations, guys!

Well, I figured that since Lestat will officially see its Broadway opening at the Palace Theatre tonight, it’d be more than okay to bash it publically, as I’m sure tomorrow’s newspapers will do, as well (New York Times, are you listening?).

The show certainly has promise, as it’s based on Anne Rice’s The Vampire Chronicles (and, in part, Interview With a Vampire) and the music is by recording legend Elton John. Throw in Hugh Panaro (longtime Phantom in Phantom of the Opera) as your star, and you should have money in the bank.

Unfortunately, Broadway never learns. The first place that Lestat fails is that it’s a musical about vampires. If the recent years have taught us nothing (Dance of the Vampires and Dracula : The Musical, respectively) it’s that the public does not want to see vampires singing and dancing. Vampires are badass! They wouldn’t sing! Instead, they’d kill whatever motherfuckers are too busy singing to notice that their necks are exposed.

The next place that Lestat failed was the show itself. Just from looking at the theatre, one can tell that they spent a lot of time thinking up brilliant poster designs and merchandising, but they forgot to actually sit down and write a book. The show begins with a very powerful Jekyll & Hyde-type feel, but tosses in comic relief all too quickly (L:”What do you know about pain?” G:”I’ve given birth. Seven times.” **this ‘joke’ was kind of funny… but I think I was laughing more at the terrible writing). As a result, the show never really decides what kind of mood it wants to set, shifting all too quickly between dark and light but ultimately landing on “laughable.”

The music does the same. As previously mentioned, it begins by sounding much like Jekyll & Hyde and later finds itself sounding more like Jesus Christ Superstar… stopping off at Once On This Island somewhere in the middle.

*Side note: Broadway audiences aren’t stupid. If the writers had attempted to cram the theatrical conventions used to convey a human becoming a vampire or the fact that Lestat “killed seven fucking wolves” down my throat one more time… I was going to scream.*

Overall, Lestat is highly entertaining if you’re a sado-masochistic freak. They say you can learn more about theatre from bad theatre… and, in that case, Lestat is the most informative show on Broadway. The book is crap, the music is crap, the acting (you guessed it) crap. The show has a crappy beginning, no ending at all, and pure tripe in between.

You’re better off keeping your $100 and doing… well, absolutely anything else. This crap isn’t worth it.

(**What pisses me off is that Elton John’s name alone will allow this show to last at least two months longer than it should have. If I were an investor, I would’ve closed out-of-town.**)