.

I’m American. Thoroughly American. This is a fact that I’ve never really thought about in the duration of my 22-year life… but that’s probably because everyone else I came into contact with was inherently American as well. Now that I’ve been forced out of my suburban bubble and thrust into a large city, I still encounter other Americans… but not in the same percentages. The more I meet people who aren’t American, the more I realize how American I am, and the more I realize how many other nations despise me just for being so.

But why all this babbling about being American in a theater review?

Because Coram Boy is not.

To be perfectly honest, I sometimes judge shows that I know nothing about by their t itles. To this end, Coram Boy sucks. As an American, I know what a “boy” is… but what the fuck is a “Coram”? Is it a name? Some fancy adjective that I should have learned in school? I don’t know… and what I don’t know, I fear.

On top of that, I find out that the show is English — transferring to Broadway from the National Theater. Although most English theater is good… somewhere in the back of my American mind, I have images of lavishly dressed middle-aged people sitting around in a drawing room sipping tea. This advances my dislike of Coram Boy, before I ever really even know anything about it.

But I had the opportunity to go free… so, why not?

Just upon entering the Imperial Theater and seeing the set, I realized that my pre-concieved tea-drinking notions were utterly incorrect. Even the set was breathtaking, monumental, somewhat strange (all things I associate with America). By the time the show had started, I forgot all about hating-the-show-on-principle, and focused on paying attention.

See, I had to pay attention. The play was confusing at first (possibly because I’m American), what with twentysomething women playing pre-teen boys and all… but that confusion settled after all of five minutes. The first act of the play flew by — intense, gripping, fantastic — with a phenomenal story and equally stunning special effects. By the time the curtain fell for intermission, I wondered “What the hell is left to tell?”

For my money (which, granted, was nothing — but I would have gladly paid for it), the first act was enough story to tell to send me home happy. Instead, with the promise of another chapter in the tale, I grew excited for the second act to begin! The rest of Coram Boy did not disappoint… equally as fascinating while cleverly introducing new characters and plot points.

That’s not even to mention the impressive 40-person cast (including a 20-member on-stage choir).

Fantastic show, superbly acted by British-American Xanthe Elbrick and company… wonderfully directed by British-Superwoman Melly Still. I would go see this show again any day of the week.

It is trully a shame that most other Americans passing through the Theater District probably did what I did — saw the title, got confused, and turned off. Equally depressing is that many probably passed up this show, which was trully inspiring theater, in favor of tripe like Legally Blonde: The Musical.

Fare the well, Coram Boy. Broadway has killed you, and buried you in the woods. Hopefully, the Tonys won’t be so cruel.

I can’t believe 2006 is almost over! It’s been one hell of a year for me, and I know that I’ve missed a lot of it here on my blog. To catch everyone up, I’m going to try and recap some of the things to have happened to me this year (including the recent developments that have been completely OTB).

Let’s start with something of minor significance (if any at all), shall we?

Entertainment

Television

Arrested Development - While this year brought the end of Arrested Development on FOX, it also marked my first exposure to the ensemble comedy. Although I’d been avoiding the show over the past three years, I found myself an instant die-hard fan. After watching the first few episodes, I diligently tracked down the entire series, watching every episode of the series inside of two months. Nowadays, it’s hard to imagine life before the Bluths. As a result, I’m overjoyed that MSN is syndicating AD without charge over the internet. If you haven’t seen the show, stay tuned to arresteddevelopment.msn.com over the next year to watch one of the finest shows ever produced for free TV.

Scrubs - I had seen a few episodes of Scrubs throughout 2005, but had never really realized how entertaining the show was. Throughout a four month period, I tracked down every episode of Scrubs and watched them, each in broadcast order. Much like Arrested Development, Scrubs gets funnier when you watch it in order and see which jokes repeat. The first four seasons are available on DVD, and Season Six continues on NBC.

Lost - I had intentionally avoided Lost for the past two years. It was too big, too popular, and sounded a bit too much like Gilligan’s Island for me to devote my time to. This year, fortunately, curiosity killed the cat (or polar bear, I guess), and I downloaded the pilot episodes onto my computer. Before I knew it, I would become addicted, racing home every day to watch each episode of both seasons. I was losing sleep, I was running late to school — and I didn’t care. I fell in love with each of the show’s characters (well, except for Ana-Lucia… bitch got what she deserved), and continued to “get Lost” throughout the summer with the Lost Experience online game. I’m completely on the edge of my seat after the latest episode of the 3rd Series, and can’t wait for 2007 to continue the cliffhanger we were left with.

NBC’s Saturday Night - Just at the end of 2006, Broadway Video, in association with NBC Universal, finally released the first season of Saturday Night Live to DVD. I’d been dying to see these episodes for years… and I’ve finally witnessed the comic genius of Belushi, Akryod, Chase, Radner, Brooks, Henson, and a slew of special guests. Highly recommended.

Theatre

“The Drowsy Chaperone” - certainly one of the greatest Broadway shows I’ve ever seen, “The Drowsy Chaperone” will please any audience of any age. Furthermore, “Drowsy” marks the reclaiming of live musical theatre to new artists — as it’s one of the more prominent shows of the season, and it was created from scratch (not using pre-existing songs or movie storylines… which isn’t always a winning formula anymore — look at “All Shook Up”, “The Times They Are A-Changin’”, and “High Fidelity” for proof). Anyway, go see “Drowsy Chaperone!” It’s quick, entertaining, and you will most certainly leave the theatre with a song in your head.

“Disney’s Beauty & The Beast” - I had avoided seeing any Disney Theatrical productions until free tickets lured me to Beauty. Despite Donny Osmond, the show still managed to entertain. The show currently features “Avenue Q”’s John Tartaglia, among others. It’s worth it, if you can find a good discount.

“Lestat” - Elton John must have phoned this one in. One of the worst shows I’ve seen this year, “Lestat” managed to be both over and under written — generally confused and miscast. Way to go, Broadway!

“Burleigh Grime$” - If “Lestat” was pure shit, this shit was somewhat diluted. I would even call it an intriguing effort if I knew what the point was supposed to be. The dude from Mad Money was in it, though… and I guess that was supposed to distract, if not entertain.

Check back soon for the next installment of my self-indulgent 2006 wrap-up!

So, thanks to Playbill.com, I just heard two songs from the upcoming Broadway musical High Fidelity.

I’m starting to lose faith in my chosen profession.

High Fidelity is one of my favorite movies… but it’s no shock to me that they’ve already lined up the show that will replace it in its theatre.

Sad.

It’s been twenty years since Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Matthew Broderick peaked at the ripe age of twenty four. Please, for the love of God, let’s stop applauding him when he comes on stage. In fact, let’s not applaud him while he’s on stage. Furthermore, let’s not applaud for him when he exits the stage. Finally, let’s not applaud for him during his curtain call.

He sucks.

He sucks an awful lot.

I was a member of the audience last night at the Brooks Atkinson Theatre for one of the final performances of Broadway’s recent incarnation of “The Odd Couple.” As I’ve documented in this blog before, Neil Simon is one of my favorite playwrights of all time, and “Odd Couple” was my first exposure to him. In addition to the movie, I had also been exposed to Oscar and Felix through the television series with Tony Randall (which, unfortunately, had *nothing* to do with Neil Simon). I was also excited to the see the show because I was able to procure standing room tickets for $25… 1/4 of the usual Broadway price for Orchestra seats.

It was hard not to be impressed by the amount of star power up on stage at the Brooks Atkinson. Nathan Lane, Rob Bartlett, Mike Starr, and even Broderick himself have had considerable good fortune finding work in the acting profession over the past few years. Maybe that’s why I was expecting some sort of masterclass up on stage during the show. Unfortunately, this was not the case. All the performers (except for one) have teriffic comic timing, adequate training (read: they’re not Amanda Peet), and wonderful presence… but I don’t think the direction was ‘all there.’ This in itself was confusing, as Joe Montello (”Wicked,” “Take Me Out,” “Glengarry,” etc., etc.) directed, and I guess I expected better.

As a whole, this version of “Odd Couple” works. I’m certain that it’s not the best that’s ever been produced, but it is what it is — funny. There’s no way you’d leave the theatre disappointed — especially if Broderick’s understudy is in.

Unfortunately, Matthew Broderick makes me so fucking angry that I don’t even want to waste space talking about it. How the fuck does he continue to get work? One can only ride their parents’ coattails for so long — and usually, one doesn’t boast that in their Playbill bio. I sincerely thank the casting director who originally paired these two together, as Lane’s over-abundance of talent makes up for Broderick’s lack thereof.

With Broadway’s recent revival of one of Neil Simon’s earliest, “Barefoot in the Park,” having closed just a few weeks ago, I figured it was probably time to review the piece. I was elated when I learned that “Barefoot” was returning to Broadway, as it’s one of my favorite plays. I was a bit less enthusiastic about the star attached to the project, Amanda Peet, but I figured that there was still a chance things would be salvaged. After all, Amanda Peet is a professional, paid actress — perhaps I was just severely underestimating her. Then again, I gave Rosario Dawson the benefit of the doubt before last year’s “Two Gentlemen of Verona,” and that was a mistake. Acting talent (or lack thereof) aside, I figured that the show was still bound to be amazing. After all, “Barefoot” is one of America’s most produced plays — and with good reason, too. The show is hilarious.

So, when offered free tickets to go see the show from the “ticket lady,” who comes to visit my school on a regular basis, I jumped at the chance.

Sitting in the Cort Theatre, I started to get a bit excited. I had recently become a fan of Patrick Wilson’s work in “The Full Monty,” thanks to the song “Big-Ass Rock,” and was also eager to see Tony Robers’ work in person. I was a bit skeptical about the floral designs on the curtain, which were meant to be reminiscent of the 60’s, but I figured it just tied in with the graphic design for the show, and shrugged it off. When the 60’s pop music began as the curtain rose, I got a little bit worried.

My last acting teacher, Jackie Bartone, taught us that you need to engage your audience in the opening moment of a scene, or you’ll lose them. With this in mind, I was completely baffled when Amanda Peet sat on stage for about five minutes, with no dialogue, doing practically nothing. It was during this extended silence that I realized how valuable Jackie’s lesson was. In acting school, it’s often said that you learn more from bad theatre than you do from good. If that’s the case, the rest of “Barefoot in the Park” was an encyclopedia’s worth of knowledge.

Unfortunately, I was right about Amanda Peet. Sucked… big time. Not only is she a terrible actress, she has no training in voice and speech, and had to practically shout every one of her lines in order to be heard on the Broadway stage. Due to the shouting, every one of her lines was delivered with the exact same inflection — making her dull and monotonous. That’s actually one of the qualities I’d look for if I were casting a show — monotonous. Wonderful.

Ms. Peet wasn’t the only to disappoint, however… Jill Clayburgh and Tony Roberts did their fair share, as well. The interactions between their characters have potential to be side-splittingly hilarious, but this was not to be in the new incarnation of “Barefoot”. Tony Roberts was especially disappointing, bringing almost nothing original (or, particularly important in a comedy — funny) to the role.

There was one redeeming quality to this “Barefoot in the Park,” however, and his name is Patrick Wilson. Just when this production made you feel compelled to run through the exit and throw yourself out in traffic to spare yourself from the terrible acting and direction, Patrick Wilson hit the stage and, in Superman-like fashion, saved the day… actually brining humor to this otherwise dry abomination disguised as professional theatre. Thank God for whoever cast him in this produciton… as he managed to make the other actors on stage look good (and that includes Amanda Peet*).

*- it should be noted that, while he managed to make Amanda Peet look better, nobody’s a miracle worker

Well, I figured that since Lestat will officially see its Broadway opening at the Palace Theatre tonight, it’d be more than okay to bash it publically, as I’m sure tomorrow’s newspapers will do, as well (New York Times, are you listening?).

The show certainly has promise, as it’s based on Anne Rice’s The Vampire Chronicles (and, in part, Interview With a Vampire) and the music is by recording legend Elton John. Throw in Hugh Panaro (longtime Phantom in Phantom of the Opera) as your star, and you should have money in the bank.

Unfortunately, Broadway never learns. The first place that Lestat fails is that it’s a musical about vampires. If the recent years have taught us nothing (Dance of the Vampires and Dracula : The Musical, respectively) it’s that the public does not want to see vampires singing and dancing. Vampires are badass! They wouldn’t sing! Instead, they’d kill whatever motherfuckers are too busy singing to notice that their necks are exposed.

The next place that Lestat failed was the show itself. Just from looking at the theatre, one can tell that they spent a lot of time thinking up brilliant poster designs and merchandising, but they forgot to actually sit down and write a book. The show begins with a very powerful Jekyll & Hyde-type feel, but tosses in comic relief all too quickly (L:”What do you know about pain?” G:”I’ve given birth. Seven times.” **this ‘joke’ was kind of funny… but I think I was laughing more at the terrible writing). As a result, the show never really decides what kind of mood it wants to set, shifting all too quickly between dark and light but ultimately landing on “laughable.”

The music does the same. As previously mentioned, it begins by sounding much like Jekyll & Hyde and later finds itself sounding more like Jesus Christ Superstar… stopping off at Once On This Island somewhere in the middle.

*Side note: Broadway audiences aren’t stupid. If the writers had attempted to cram the theatrical conventions used to convey a human becoming a vampire or the fact that Lestat “killed seven fucking wolves” down my throat one more time… I was going to scream.*

Overall, Lestat is highly entertaining if you’re a sado-masochistic freak. They say you can learn more about theatre from bad theatre… and, in that case, Lestat is the most informative show on Broadway. The book is crap, the music is crap, the acting (you guessed it) crap. The show has a crappy beginning, no ending at all, and pure tripe in between.

You’re better off keeping your $100 and doing… well, absolutely anything else. This crap isn’t worth it.

(**What pisses me off is that Elton John’s name alone will allow this show to last at least two months longer than it should have. If I were an investor, I would’ve closed out-of-town.**)

I distinctly remember arguing last year with Derek about what show should win the 2005 Tony Award for Best Musical. While I sided with Monty Python’s Spamalot, he stood his ground in backing Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. The funniest thing about this argument, neither one of us had seen the show we were arguing against. Here we are, a great many months later, and I have finally seen Dirty Rotten. I’m not going to withdraw my opinion that Spamalot was more deserving of the top prize, but Dirty Rotten Scoundrels is one hell of a show, and I’m truly overjoyed that I went to see it.

One of the most exciting things about seeing this show was seeing the entire Original Broadway Cast in tact. John Lithgow is about to leave the show for good and Sherie Renee Scott is a few weeks away from taking a long leave of absence, so the timing was absolutely impeccable. (Unfortunately, since this has been written, John Lithgow has been replaced by Jonathan Pryce [who’s apparently also very good], as has Sherie Renee.) Either way, I still feel as if I would have enjoyed the show without the entire trio of stars, due to a spectacular performance by Tony Award-winning Norbert Leo Butz.

Impeccable cast aside, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels is one of the best shows I’ve had the privilege of seeing on Broadway. It has a great story, incredible songs, and is sure to please long after the show’s stars have left. That’s saying something. There have been many Broadway shows in the past few years (*cough* Boy From Oz *cough*) that rely solely upon the performance of one person — and this show is a tremendous breath of fresh air.

People I know who don’t even like musicals have already gone to see Dirty Rotten three times. It’s that good.

Check it out, if you get a chance… you’ll laugh your ass off.

Choosing a career in the acting field, it’s a good thing that I have a profound enjoyment of Broadway theatre. Even more than I like Broadway theatre however, I like free Broadway theatre. That’s why I decided to jump at the chance to see Chitty Chitty Bang Bang for no charge.

I had never seen the movie before, but I knew enough to know that it had some sort of flying car in it that Dick Van Dyke flew around. I also knew, while walking into the Hilton Theatre, that Raul Esparza (whom I was familiar with due to his phenomenal singing as Riff Raff in the cast recording of Broadway’s recent Rocky Horror Show) stars in the Broadway adaptation of the famous children’s flick.

What I did not know, however, was that a pack of M&Ms costs $4 once inside the building. Fuck that.

I guess I should refrain from using coarse language in a review of a children’s show… shouldn’t I? I apologize for that.

I didn’t walk in to Chitty expecting a great piece of theatre, and I’m rather glad I didn’t. This show uses extremely elaborate and colorful sets, constantly moving props, and live animals to mask the fact that it lacks substance overall. But, let’s face it, this show was made for kids… and I’m sure that if parents would have brought their kids instead of dragging them to Wicked, one or two of them might have been able to pay attention long enough to enjoy it.

That is, until some of the actors took the stage. I personally found Raul Esparza to be particularly amazing, in his acting, singing, and his dancing (pictured below)… although I’ve heard a few rumblings about the accuracy of his British accent. I also loved the actors who portrayed Goran and Boris, and their number “Act English,” which I’m sure went over most people’s heads (most people who don’t have constant contact with the English, that is). Unfortunately, Chip Zien was not performing the night I saw the show — it would have been a treat to see him on stage.

As far as the acting is concerned, I have two names that should be dedicated to memory — Marc Kudisch and Jan Maxwell. In their respective roles of the Baron and the Baroness, they completely stop the show with “Chu-Chi Face” and burn the place to the ground with “The Bombie Samba.” Absolutely outstanding.

I didn’t particularly enjoy Kevin Cahoon’s Childcatcher, which I heard was one of the best parts of the show. I felt that this Childcatcher was a bit on the borderline between plain creepy and homosexual… making him less of a fictional character and more Michael Jackson-esque. Speaking of actors I didn’t like… how about Erin Dilly? The fact that she was nominated for a Tony for Best Actress is, quite frankly, embarrassing.

The true star of this show is that damned car. I’ve got to admit, a huge smile lit up on my face as I saw the thing take flight. I was extremely impressed by the theatrics of it. When it first took flight, I struggled hard with myself to not try and figure out how it was happening. Upon its second departure, I was actually looking for the device that gave it flight, and (to my surprise) could not find it. You’ve gotta love that Boradway magic.

In short, if you can pick up free (or extremely cheap) tickets to Chitty, it’s worth a chance… especially since it vacates the Hilton Theatre on the 31st of December. Certainly don’t pay full price, and don’t pay $4 for M&Ms either!

It’s been well over a month since I was inside the Walter Kerr Theatre, watching Brian O’Byrne and Cherry Jones up on stage in Doubt… and I’m still thinking about it.

For those who don’t know, Doubt is the latest creation of playwright John Patrick Shanley. Here’s a short description from Broadway.com:

Set against the backdrop of a Bronx Catholic school in 1964, Doubt is the story of a strong-minded woman faced with a difficult decision. Should she voice concerns about one of her male colleagues…even if she’s not entirely certain of the truth?

The show itself is great. The actors’ performances are all completely believable. Brian O’Byrne was inspiring to watch, and for all the tall tales I’ve heard about Cherry Jones, she did an amazing job. An understudy went on for Mrs. Muller on the night that I saw the show, and even she was breathtaking to watch (and in a scene that served as the inspiration for the play’s formation, nonetheless).

Perhaps the only problem with the show is its length. It’s a 90-minute show with no intermission, so theatregoers who shell out $100 for a ticket will probably feel ripped off. I got a student ticket for under $30, and while I was sitting way up in the balcony, I still thoroughly enjoyed myself.

I’m not sure if Doubt really impacted me too much while I was sitting in the theatre. It’s the kind of show that grows on you after you leave. The more I thought about it, the more I really wanted to know what actually happened between the Priest and the boy in question (the answers to which only O’Byrne, Shanley, and director Doug Hughes know). The show is also interesting as a discussion piece, as I find that men and women generally have different pereceptions of the characters therein (especially Sister Aloysius).

See Doubt today. Straight plays don’t last long on Broadway… and the show’s stars are set to leave early in 2006. You won’t regret it.

Another few days gone by in New York City. I’m beginning to miss being home in Rockland. Not that anything’s all too exciting about it… but I feel that, if I’m going to live there, I should be enjoying it.

At least I still see stars at night.

Anyway, I went to the Broadway Cares / Equity Fights Aids Flea Market today with Stacey. She proved her prowess as a champion shopper (even at a Flea Market), spending $8 and taking home over four items. I, on the other hand, am not that good. I spent a similar $7 and walked away with a script. I could have done that at the Drama Book Shop.

Something cool did come out of the Flea Market, however.

Stacey and I both wound up getting hugs and a personal tapdance from Deborah S. Craig, cast member from The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. I must now see this show.

Check out the trailer for Waiting, starring Ryan Reynolds, Justin Long, and Dane Cook. Looks amazing.

Also, check out the first trailer for The Producers, which looks even better now than I thought it did before.

This is shaping up to be a pretty cool week.

I certainly hope so.